关于好笑易懂的英语笑话？
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!
：Farmer's Bull
Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it duties. It's got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.
Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back.
So 2 weeks later the farmer es back to the vet:
Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and *** ed 70 cows in 30 minutes.
Vet: So, what's the problem - why have you e back?
Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight - could you give me one of those tablets? I'm not as young as I was.
Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong but I will give you a quarter of a pill.
So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date. Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet.
Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times.
Vet: So, why have you e back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up!
：Farmer's Daughter
There was a men who is lost in a forest during a storm. He came to a house and knocked on the door. A farmer came out and asked, "what the hell do you want?"
The man asked, "Could I spend a night here?"
"Sure, but you can't touch my daughter."
So the man was sleeping that night, when the daughter came in. And that night, they did it. The next night, they did it, too. The next night, they did it, again.
Until one night, the daughter said to the man, "I am tired of doing it in your room."
So the man went to the daughter's room and did it. The next night, they did it The next night, they did it, too The next night, they did it again.
They have done it in every single room in the house EXECPT the father's room.
So one night they decided to go to the father's room and do it. When they went in, the father has fallen deep into sleep.
The man asked, "what the hell is that hairy thing in his bed?"
The daughter said, "it's his hairy ass"
So the man and the daughter were doing it in his room for 2 weeks and they loved it.
But unfortunatly, one day, the father came to the man and go, "we need to talk."
"What, I didn't have sex with your daughter!"
"I will tell you the truth, I don't care if you have sex with my daughter anymore, just don't use my hairy ass as a score board!"
：Rooster
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. 'So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.
So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gatheringaround to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.
By now the farmer has heard all the motion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
As he walks away slowly, he says to himself . . . "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
：Pigs
A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decidedit must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all.
The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his di *** ay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.
By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says "hmmm - that's weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn".
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
如下：1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”Little Johnny then stood up.The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。小约翰尼站了起来。“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogsA man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Doesyour dog bite?”The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
初中英语幽默小故事笑话
初中英语幽默小故事笑话 从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来初中英语幽默小故事精选，欢迎大家阅读! 初中英语幽默小故事精选1：一个更好的邮递员 I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble. One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was! 我当过很短时间的邮递员。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有过不少麻烦。 有一天，我设法到一座大房子去递送几封信。我开始打开门，这时，突然一只很大的狗朝我跑来。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮着，因此我把信件扔在了栅栏上。那只狗拾起那些信件，把信件带进了大房子。比起我来讲，那只狗是个更好的邮递员。 初中英语幽默小故事 精选 2：广告的威力 Some businessmen were talking about advertising on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。 At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement。 "What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。 "Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。 "Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100." "Did you get the dog back?" "No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen." 一群商人正热烈地讨论在电视上做广告。他们中没有人做过，所以每个人都有自己的想法。 此时，格雷先生进来了。格雷是一个汽车经销商，他曾经做过一次广告。 “你们在讨论什么?”格雷先生问。 “广告有用不?”其中一位商人问。 “噢，有用，而且见效非常快。”格雷先生说，“我曾经发布了一条广告，要花100美金寻找一条丢失的看门狗。” “你的狗找到了吗?” “没，但是那个晚上我的三辆车被偷走了。” 初中英语幽默小故事 精选 3：做自己不喜欢的'事情 A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked his horn. "If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son. "Back up two miles," replied the farmer. 一位农民和他的儿子坐着马车来到一条狭窄的小巷， 他们看到一个司机正往他们这个方向开来。两个方向2英里以内已经没有空间让他们擦身而过了。司机焦急地按着喇叭。 “假如你不往后退，”农民撸着袖子说，“我并不喜欢我将要必须去做的事。”司机甚是惊讶，挂了倒挡，退后了2英里，让马车先过去了。 “刚才你说你并不喜欢做的事是什么啊?”农民的儿子问。 “退后2英里。”农民回答。 ;
初一经典英语笑话大全
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。我分享初一经典英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
初一经典英语笑话：There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, di *** elievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
初一经典英语笑话：He is a very *** art dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
初一经典英语笑话：This dog is acting bad
While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.
A passerby mented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"
To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."
初一经典英语笑话：Cat technical support problems
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.
Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, e quick!"
When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.
初一经典英语笑话：This is one *** art dog
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws es pushing through the door.
"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.
"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to *** ack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.
The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.
The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.
"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"
Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.
The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and *** artly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.
"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really *** art dog you've got there," ments the butcher.
"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.