test3

求大神批改雅思10 test3大作文谢谢

您好，个人认为可以做出以下一些调整：第一段落：Differences between countries are gradually disappearing because the same products can be bought anywhere worldwide. Some people consider it affirmatively while others show negative attitudes. In my opinion, I believe that it is a positive development.1）can be bought anywhere worldwide 这里的 worldwide 是副词性（worldwide 也可以作为形容词使用）修饰 bought，而 anywhere 是副词作地点状语，感觉结构上比较奇怪，原文的 in the world 可能更好些 anywhere in the world 中 in the world 是介词短语作地点状语，而 anywhere 起到了强调的作用，要比 anywhere worldwide 更通顺些。2）consider it affirmatively 中使用了宾补的用法，而宾语补足语是对宾语的补充说明，通常是形容词性的，不是副词性的，所以 consider it affirmative 可能更好，否者 affirmatively 会被看作是修饰谓语动词 consider 但却位于宾语的后面，结构上不对。3）attitude 作为（态度；看法）是不可数名词。好的地方：文章用了 more similar，而您用了 difference disappearing，是一个很不同的但很不错的反义表达用法。但需要注意的是 more similar 不同等于 the same，而 difference disappear（消失）等同于 the same，但两种表达方式之间的程度差距是有的，感觉 disappear 改成 diminish（缩小）可以保留一些差距，或是用 becoming marginal（变成微不足道）也可以的。第二段落：Because of the development of productivity and transport, the same products can be produced and delivered in almost every country. People now can own what they can only buy in other countries in the past which is much more convenient. The cost and time will be saved because they can just go to the local supermarket to purchase what they need instead of going abroad. It can also be an innovative way for people to experience other countries’ cultures without going there as requirements for traveling abroad are usually hard to meet.1）the development in productivity and transport 可能更好些，这里的 productivity 通常翻译为（生产率；生产力），可以考虑改成 manufacturing and transport，因为是（制造业）和（运输业）的发达导致……，而不是（生产力）导致……。2）... can be produced and delivered to almost every country. 这里用 to。3）People now can own what they can only buy in othr countries in the past ... 改成 People can now own what they could only buy ....。4）The cost and time can be saved ... 还可以考虑改成 The costs in time can be saved ...；原文 cost 是（价格），也即是（价格和时间）（可以被）省下，will be saved 用了一般将来时表示将来某个时间可以省，但不是现在，不恰当；The costs in traveling and time can be saved（这里的 costs 指的是成本，也就是旅行和时间成本可以被省下来）。local supermarket 改成 local shops 可能更好，因为 supermarket 通常仅限于购买（生活用品），但比如瑞士表，车子等等是无法在（超市）买得到的。.... requirements for traveling abroad 中的 requirements 通常会被认为是（必须的）也就是比如护照、签证等等的硬性规定；但其他条件比如时间、金钱、身体状况等等无法从 requirements 中体现出来，可以考虑 prerequisites（前提条件，必须预先具备）可能涵盖范围更多些。第三段落：Not only for customers, but it is also necessary and positive for companies to sell their products abroad. Nowadays, the influence of companies usually depends on the extent of their products cover. Companies only sell to their native customers are commonly uncompetitive compared to the international companies whose products cover global areas. In the long-term sight, companies merely focusing on local buyers may not survive in the future market because of economic globalization.1）customers（顾客）改成 consumers（消费者）可能更好些；not only ... but also ... 是关联连词，通常关联的部分是并列结构，可以考虑改成 Not only is it beneficial and positive for consumers to buy foreign goods locally, but for companies to sell their domestic products internationally as well. 用了3个并列结构（1）for consumers vs for companies（2）to buy foreign goods vs. to sell domestic products（3）locally vs. internationally.2）.... on the extent of their products cover 结构和语义上有问题，可以考虑改成 on the extent of the retail coverage of their products（产品零售覆盖的延伸）3）Companies only sell to their native customers are commonly uncompetitive compred to the international companies whose products cover global areas. 句子结构和语义上有问题，可以改成 Companies selling only to their local customers are generally uncompetitive compared to companies whose products cover global territories.（主句是 companies are uncompetitive，其余的都是修饰作用）4）In the long-term sight, companies merely focusing on local buyers may not survive in the future market because of economic globalization. 这里的 sight 是多余的而且导致混淆了，merely 的位置是错误的；改成：In the long-term, companies focusing merly on local buyers may not survive well in the future markt due to the inevitable economic globalization.（添加了 well 和 he inevitable）第四段落：Some opponents will question that the diversification of different countries will be negatively affected by the same products sold worldwide. The features of diverse countries will disappear gradually. However, many companies will specially produce their products to fit the habits of their foreign customers. The difference between cultures can be noticed from slightly different designs aimed at different countries. It can also improve the images of companies because of their understanding and considering thoughts.1）... that the diversification of different countris ... 改成 that the uniqueness of different cultures ...；（不同文化的独一无二性质）要好过（不同国家的多样化）2）features 译为（特征）时，通常指的是显而易见的外在形状的特征，使用 characteristics 作为（特征）可能比较符合文章的含义。.... will disappear gradually. 改成 ... will disppear eventually。这里 eventually 有种最终寻找不到，只是时间问题，强调的是最终的结果，和 disappear 有强调的含义；gradually 强调的是过程，不是最终的结果，语义比较弱一些。3）.... will specially produce their products to fit the habits of their foreign customers. 改成 have custom tailored (特制定做) their products to suit the habits of their international customers. 需要把 foreign 改成 international，因为 foreign customers 可以看做是本地的外国顾客，也就是生活在本地的外国人，而 international customers 就基本上是生活在国外的其他外国人。4）The difference between cultures can be noticed from ..... 这里的 noticed 可以考虑改成 realized 或是 kept 或是 retained（保留）可能更好些。第五段落：In conclusion, being able to buy the same products anywhere worldwide is a positive development due to its influence on both customers and companies.1）还是 worldwide 的用法，读起来比较不顺。2）on both the consumers and companies.您的结尾和文章的要求有点出入：文章的要求是：Do you think this is a positive or negative development that countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. 也就是文章问的是（国家变得越来越相同是好的还是不好的发展方向。）问的是导致人们可以在全世界任何地方都买到同样产品这个结果的原因，问的是原因是好的还是坏的。而您的结尾是 ... being able to buy the same products anywhere worldwide is a positive development due to its influence on both customers and companies. （能在全世界任何地方买到同样的产品是一个好的发展，归功于在顾客和公司的影响上。您把结果，也就是可以在全世界任何地方买到通常的产品的这个结果作为文章的发展方向了。）显然和文章的本意是不一样的。也就是您最终证明的结果并不是文章要求您需要证明的，有答非所问，会被认为是离题的，也就是您把原因和结果反过来了。撇开离题这个方面，文章本身的结构是不错的，达到了雅思一定的要求。尽管一些句子还可以再简化，也就是从句有点多了，可以适当的把从句改成短语，文章的逻辑思维和铺垫层次是不错的。选词方面还可以再加强些，也就是有更好的词汇可以表达更清晰的语义。希望我的点评可以帮到您。

求大神批改雅思7 test2大作文谢谢

1. 第一段立论中关键词crime使用有问题：All kinds of crimes are committed against the law(s) and should be punished with no doubt！建议将crime改成offence(s)或wrong-doing(s).2. 第二段第一句which is not fair使用不当（which指代不清），应改成as otherwise it is not fair. 下一句slightly改成underweigh或用短语with due punishment；而right(s)是不能用violate(d)修饰的，建议改成the rights of the victims will be infringed/will not be duely protected.3. 下一句有几个问题：①从句时态使用不当，“当时可能不…”应使用虚拟语气might have been…；②unwilling使用不当，这里应该使用(do/did sth on purpose)；③criminals和crime有很大几率被认为是措辞重复，可以将crime换成offence；④has no relationship with措辞不当。建议将这句改成It is true that some of the criminals might not have committed their offences on purpose. But that has nothing to do with the innocent victims.4. 下一句They指代不清，建议改成The victims or their families(之所以加or…，是因为victims有可能已经死了)。下一句obeying措辞不当，obey意思是“顺从”而非“遵从”，应改成abiding by. 在thus前后是两句话，应该将,thus改成Thus；do not have the right措辞不当，建议改成should not be treated或should not be liable to being treated.5. 第三段第一句motivation要变成复数，society要改成people.下一句没听懂要表达什么意思。最后一句which前应加逗号，即改成非限制性定语从句。6. 第四段第一句cimmit应加宾语；those who don't have措辞不当，可以改成those without，以便与前面的with-短语相呼应。7. 下一句samely措辞有问题，到底怎么个same法(是with the same level of penalty还是什么)要说清楚。注：建议题主丰富法律专用词汇。比如，在谈“惩罚/处罚/刑罚”时，除了使用punishment，还可以用penalty，甚至是名词性从句what they deserve. 谈“罪犯”时，除了criminal，有时也可以用offender、culprit等。同时要注意大众词汇的使用，如本文最后的affect the legal system negatively 就可以说成do harm to the legal system.拙见，未必妥当，仅供参考。不妥之处请指正。

同时学习两种编程语言,比如C++和Java ,有什么利弊?

对于这个问题，我想还是需要分两种情况来应答。

1.无编程基础
结合我自己的学习经历吧，我在大一时参加学校的一个IT社团，要求我一星期学习一门语言来作为考核。由于大学前只用C做过NOIP，所以很难快速接受OOP思想，在同时学习这类语言，比如C++以及JAVA时有点力不从心，因为学习速度较快而练习机会较少，所以很容易产生混乱，即在写C++时穿越的使用了JAVA的语法，反之亦然。
所以个人认为，同时学习时最容易出现的问题就是知识混淆，特别是对于C++和JAVA这样语法相似的语言。并且由于无法专注于一种语言，很容易囫囵吞枣，只学了个大概却无法深入的体会语言的特点及高级应用。比如C++由于比较底层，你会经常和指针打交道，你面向的基本也会是底层点的东西（某些框架除外），而且你也会对资源的申请和回收更敏感；而JAVA则不同，使用了虚拟机机制，让你不用再关心内存问题，更多的放在OOP上，同时拥有众多库，让你感受到和C++很大的不同。

2.有编程基础
这里的“有基础”相对于“无基础”不是说会不会编程，而是说对某种类型的语言是否熟悉，比如静态语言与动态语言等。当拥有一定基础后，或者说学习了一段时间，有了理解后，就会发现不同语言的特色，见识到更多的开发思想。
举个例子，我现在在做Android开发，用的JAVA，然后准备也学下python。开始觉得不会相差太多，有了一定基础语言都是相通的，后来学了之后才发现python那不同于C体系的动态语言的魅力。做web的同学也推荐我同时学习下古老的lisp，能过多的开阔眼界。
这也许就是编程的魅力，和阅读一样，在使用不同语言时能领略到不同思想的魅力。
再者，同时学习不同的语言也能清晰的作对比，了解到语言间的差异。《JAVA编程思想》一书在讲解java时都会与C++做对比，对于熟悉C++或同时在学习C++的人，就会产生莫大的益处。

VBA和Java/C++等编程语言有什么差别

我推荐先学习C语言，尽管很花时间，但是在学习其他衍生语言（包括java跟C++）都十分容易上手。计算机指令底层还是二进制，所以除了汇编，只有C语言最有效率。java太简单了，没有指针，没有多态，垃圾自动回收，完全的面向对象。C++复杂一点，牵扯很多内存问题，C++开发的游戏运行效率高。java太过于基础了，学会java很简单，把java语言玩透就难了，没有指针的语言要操作内存还要有运行效率，还是得首先学习C语言。C++不用说，开发大型软件游戏就它最有效率（运行速度快，稳定），java就是免费开源（一切java的衍生品或者编译器乃至扩展都是免费的），开发速度快，但是java运行效率及其低下。java学得再好也是编程行业的基础人员，站在金字塔低端，再努力也分不了多少肉。程序员必须具备，英语6级水平（可读可写，看PDF如读小说），数学高数水平。学C++以后免不了要学习物理跟数学3D建模，顶点运算，微积分。学java基本没有门槛，但是没有门槛的行业，挤破头也没多少用处